Monday, February 15, 2010
Musings of a Theologian Mom
When I was a full-time doctoral student and a full-time mom, it was really, really tough. So tough that at times I would chastise myself for thinking that I could do both at the same time (and be satisfied with my performance). But whenever I reflected and thought... if I could go back... I remained in the same spot. I wouldn't choose not to start my doctorate. And, more importantly, I certainly would NOT choose not to have had Maia.
Now I have a slightly different musing. I've had a shift recently, so that I'm much more a full-time mom and only really a part-time (dissertation-writing) doctoral student. No assistantship means no "working" in addition to schoolwork and taking care of kids. Sometimes I wonder... what do those full-time moms that aren't writing dissertations do in the evenings when their kids go to bed? I like to idealize the possibilities. They probably endlessly read novels and other books for fun, spend time with their husbands, watch basketball on television, chat with their family on the phone, catch up on household chores, participate in social organizations and Bible studies, or maybe even go out with friends.
But then I think... would I really be happy if I wasn't doing something academic?
And right now, the answer is no. This is the end to every muse of this sort. I conclude the idealizing and dreaming with being glad that I'm (still) pursuing a doctorate.